Part 2: The Tour - Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

I thought being in Hong Kong would be enough- I mean, I had just travelled to the other side of the world, surely it was enough? But when I heard people talking about their upcoming trips to Vietnam, China, Japan, etcetera, I realised that taking advantage of my location hadn’t even crossed my mind. In hindsight, I’d have been silly not to.

My first thought was Malaysia, based only on my father telling me he once narrowly escaped a shark there (unverified, he told me this when I was 8). I booked my flights for a quick weekend getaway to Kuala Lumpur, which is likely something I’ll never again have the luxury of saying.

I knew very little of what to see or what to eat in there, so did what I consider the most efficient option and booked a food tour. My research led me to the Sambal Streets Kuala Lumpur Food Tour with 15+ Tastings which sounds intimidating, but is there a better way to cover all bases than with 3-4 hours of concentrated eating? I made sure to fit in a little sightseeing too, don’t worry.

Arriving in Kuala Lumpur meant a new subway system, a different language, an entirely different culture than the one I had just started getting used to in Hong Kong. As I was checking in to my hostel, the host asked about my plans for dinner. I responded meekly, “I saw a McDonald’s on the corner…”. Bear in mind, I was a touch overwhelmed and desperate to rest up for the next morning. Spoiler: the hostel conveniently had their bar crawl scheduled for later that night, so I did not in fact rest up for the next morning. What I did do however, was go up the street and get a kebab as instructed by the host. I couldn’t in good conscience go back to the hostel and admit to getting a McNugget meal, and good thing I didn’t because sitting on the curb with a £2 chicken shawarma was sort of an ‘oh, I’m actually here’ moment for me. Kunafa happens to be one of my favourite desserts- I’m sure many of you have seen it in the context of the incessant Dubai Chocolate trend. There it was, stretchy, milky cheese sandwiched in kunafa and doused in syrup, coincidentally being sold right next to the kebab shop. Despite knowing exactly what I wanted, I still somehow managed to order a baklava instead. I enjoyed it anyway.

I spent the next morning doing some touristy things which are bound to tire a girl out, so  gave in to that McDonald’s I had so been craving. Pretty much the only good thing about it is the localised menu, so I sat in a beautiful park and relished in a cardboard box of Nasi Lemak McD. It came with all the usual accoutrements: tragically spicy sambal, hot Ayam Goreng (fried chicken), Ikan Bilis (fried anchovies), rice, and the classic McMuffin shaped egg. I’ve got to say, for my first Nasi Lemak it wasn’t bad. Predictably, it lacked a ‘made with love’ quality, but no one's going to McDonald’s for that.

The meeting point for my greatly anticipated food tour was the lobby of a very nice hotel. Slightly awkward if you ask me. I was early and anxiously waiting for a group of people I had no description of. The guide finally saved me from my anguish and off we went. I don’t hear enough people talking about how uncomfortable group tours can be, specifically for a not-so-talkative woman travelling alone. It had the energy of a classroom: one class clown, a teacher’s pet, two or three know-it-alls, some quiet observers, and a teacher trying to get everyone listening.

Stop 1: The Market

Finally, the thousands of videos titled Try Exotic Fruit With Me and Eating Fruit I’ve Never Seen Before came in handy. The tour group occupied a slightly too large space in a slim street of the Chow Kit Market and settled in to try some fruit. Rambutan, Salak, Duku, Longan, Mangosteen, and a Petai bean, only three of which I was able to identify. We squeezed further through the streets as it started to pour with rain but confusingly, the sky was bright as ever. The good thing about rain here is its only heavy for a few minutes at a time, a welcome relief from the heat.

Stop 2: Roti

We huddled into a restaurant where we each tried our hand at stretching and flipping a roti, every one of us inevitably failing. Malaysian Roti is known for its flaky layers which are no simple task to create- we watched the professionals stretch and roll and flip the dough to an unbelievable size and thinness. A plate of Mi Goreng came along to tide us over; fried noodles with chicken and vegetables, best enjoyed with a heavy-handed squeeze of calamansi. The roti was served with a daal, a chicken curry and a fish curry, and I made sure to mop up every drop. There’s no joy quite like that which comes from eating messily with one’s hands, something strongly believe we should do more often. This stop finished off sweet with cup of iced Teh Tarik, poured from a height to create froth.

Stop 2: The Stinkiest Fruit in The World

Durian. Sorry to disappoint you but it wasn’t nearly as stinky as you’ve been made to think. There are around 30 recognised species of durian and hundreds of varieties so some are more potent than others, but take this as a lesson to not always believe what you hear. In the World Durian Championship, the Malaysian Musang King has repeatedly come out on top. Given gloves to protect my fingers from the slight alliaceous smell, I tore into the fruit- it was soft and ripe with a subtle mango flavour. Nothing to be afraid of. This was followed by a bowl of Cendol, a dessert consisting of shaved ice, palm sugar, coconut milk, pandan jelly, and sweetcorn. Lightly fragrant with an exciting combination of textures. I stopped myself after a few spoonfuls- quality over quantity.

Stop 3: The Ramly Burger

We turned the corner to find that in 20 paces we had reached the Ramly Burger. Ramly bin Mokni quelled the confusion of supermarket shoppers in search of halal meat with his trademark halal burger patty. The business started in his home, moved to a small stall, eventually creating a demand for burgers in Malaysia that people didn’t see coming. 5 years ago, Ramly was producing 1 million patties a day, so you can guess where they might be now. The Ramly patty is wrapped in a thin omelette, grilled, and served with fresh veggies and spicy sauce. It had a familiar smell that I couldn’t place. After a few minutes of deep thought it clicked: Subway. I whispered this to the guy next to me who turned to me with a full mouth, a big nod, and a satisfied face.

Stop 4: Putu Bambu

A rice flour batter steamed inside a bamboo tube, topped with shredded coconut and palm sugar. One plain, the other a mint green colour given by the pandan leaf. It was crumbly and dry, a big contrast to the saucy burger I’d tasted not even 3 minutes prior. This was when it began to drizzle slightly, and we all knew what was coming.

Stop 5: Soup

Our second treat to heavy, heavy rain came at just the right time because we were about to take a seat inside a brightly lit dining room decorated with plastic chairs and tables; the perfect setting for a bowl of noodles in steaming hot broth. Two in one again: a beef noodle soup of which the name escapes me, and a typical curry laksa. This laksa in particular was dotted with mussels which came as a very delicious surprise. The soup was creamy and aromatic, with a boiled egg and a tofu puff soaking up all the moisture. The beef noodles came in a thin broth with rice noodles and beef so tender I could barely get a hold of it with chopsticks.

Stop 5: Indonesian Satay & A Whole Fish

Is there anything more fun than food on a stick? I think not. A classic chicken satay with peanut sauce

and a beef satay with chilli. Both grilled to perfection on an open flame. The strips of meat dripped with juices, tender, no fighting to yank it o

ff the skewer. We stayed for a grilled fish done on the same fire and served with green sambal or Sambal Ijo, Kecap Manis, and a tangy (possibly fermented) chilli sauce.

Stop 6: Malaysian Satay & More Fish

More open fires, more grilling, more charred, juicy meat. Chicken again and lamb this time. Instead of dipping while eating, these skewers were brushed with sauce during their short time on the grill. Larger chunks of meat made for a firmer bite than their Indonesian friends, and I preferred them this way. 180° turn to a tiny stand selling Otak Otak, essentially a small patty of fish paste wrapped in a banana leaf and grilled. The texture is similar to a Chinese fish cake but the spices set it apart, and a mild char on the banana leaf gives a desirable earthy smokiness.

Stop 7: A Real Nasi Lemak

Our final stop. A restaurant serving god knows how many variations of Nasi Lemak. At nearly 10pm the place was noisy and full with the sound of people eating in delight. Our guide sat us down, left for 5 minutes and came back with 6 paper-wrapped parcels. We unwrapped our precious gift of Nasi Lemak Ayam Rendang. Steaming rice with a massive piece of curry-coated chicken, sitting comfortably on top of some tofu and a bright green banana leaf. This, although I was close to passing out, was incredible. And a fresh mango smoothie for dessert? Was I supposed to say no?

That was the wholesome conclusion to a very long, enriching evening. I began the day with low hopes because of insufficient planning, and finished it feeling more satisfied than I could have imagined.

On day 2 I was introduced to Kopi Cham, another drink sweetened with condensed milk, tea, and coffee the perfect ratio, and a bowl of prawn mee. Two different kinds of noodles, prawns, mild but nicely spiced broth, a boiled egg, some greens, and tofu. The layer of oil floating on top clung stubbornly to each spoonful, but I was too busy being proud of myself for navigating a new country all by my grown-up self to care.

My last night in Kuala Lumpur ended with another kebab and one order of the correct dessert from next door. Sticky, crispy, cheesy heaven in my mouth. Talk about a full circle. 

And I had a Burger King at the airport.