How to Eat Alone

Reasons for eating alone

1. Your friends are picky

2. Your friends have dietary restrictions

3. Your friends are busy

4. You want to practice doing scary things

5. You prefer to do things alone

6. You don’t like to share

7. You don’t like other people

8. All of the above

I know the idea going out to eat alone can seem pretty scary, so I’m here to tell you exactly why it’s not. My top reasons for eating alone are a mix of options 1, 2, 3 and 5 (if any of my picky friends are reading, please don’t take any offense). Going to a bar or restaurant is seen as something we do with friends or family, for some downtime, as a treat, or to catch up. But there is joy to be found in eating alone, uninterrupted, and being able to appreciate every part of a meal.

I’m all for eating veggie, vegan, whatever it may be, but some things are too good to pass up. At the moment, for example, there are very few if any friends I can invite to a big seafood feast. As one person, how are you to eat a big seafood feast all by your lonesome? Either you suck it up or try your hand at the big seafood feast and likely fail. Or postpone your visit to said big seafood feast, missing out on something you’ve been looking forward to, and that’s never fun. Nor should it be an option.

I find it refreshing going somewhere alone and being able to observe each part of it, confirming (or disproving!) why I was excited to visit in the first place. This is why I’ve taken some time to compile a list of my favourite places in Brighton to visit alone whether it’s for food, coffee, or a little post-dinner drink. If you’re not quite ready for that and want to get some practice in first, keep reading.

Eating out alone is a very normal thing to do in many parts of the world. One of the best skills I learnt during a year living in Hong Kong was how to do things alone. If no one was free, I’d visit museums, restaurants, markets and god knows how many other scary places, alone. Not to mention the big fat language barrier that stood solidly in my way. I came to notice that no one batted an eyelid at a solo diner because the way of life in Hong Kong is such that people often don’t have the space or time to cook for themselves the way we do here. In fact, its encouraged to eat out of the house; made evident by the thousands of hidden eateries in the city housing lots of tables for 1. The attitude is similar in Japan- if you’ve come across the ramen bars with dividers separating diners, you know what I’m talking about.

I thought having had so much practice while being away, going out alone will be a piece of cake when I’m back in Brighton. Wrong. For some reason, I felt self-conscious all over again and had to slap myself straight to get out of it. An event I was desperate to go to was booking up, but no one was available to come with me, and therefore I missed out. That’s when I decided to make a real effort to go out alone. My concern was people thinking I look lonely when I’m actually just having a nice time, but something important to remember is the blunt fact that no one cares about you, they’re all quite occupied with themselves. It sounds harsh but, in this context, having not a single person care what you’re doing is a huge blessing. In fact, having worked in hospitality for the last few years, I’ve seen a good number of solo diners. I once saw an elderly lady knock back a martini and two glasses of red at a 3-course dinner on a Friday night, all while reading a book. My first thought was ‘I wish that was me.’ So, if anything, someone will be thinking that about you. If you needed an ego boost to get you to dinner alone, you’ve got it.

If you’re afraid to take up space in a restaurant, start with coffee or a drink. I know a drink might sound like a step up in the list of things that are weird to do alone, but if being sat somewhere for too long is something you worry about, it might work for you. And after a glass of wine or your favourite cocktail, you’ll likely feel a little more comfortable.

I don’t want to keep you from embarking on any exciting solo adventures, so we’ll end this here. I do hope this has encouraged you to stop waiting until a restaurant is booked or a menu has been changed, and that you find yourself wanting to go out alone. It’s not as scary as you think.